As you lay across the bed
for me to join you
I am texting my sister
And now I am cutting my nails over the sink
And the mirror is turned so that I may see your eyes
For one moment
And you make sure in that moment I catch your face, too, your mouth
The exact moment, a shining highway sign in headlights:
This is just not right,
for either one of us.
Because I am capable of knowing such things.
Painting pictures on my back
The strokes I felt
But spent time guessing at shapes
Put pressure on my shoulders,
and doubt of the power it took to create.
A thing unfair to us both,
and how I came to feel incapable of love after having loved, before.