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Expectations

Expectations

As you lay across the bed

waiting

for me to join you

I am texting my sister

And now I am cutting my nails over the sink

And the mirror is turned so that I may see your eyes

For one moment

And you make sure in that moment I catch your face, too, your mouth

The exact moment, a shining highway sign in headlights: 

This is just not right,

for either one of us.

Because I am capable of knowing such things.

 

Painting pictures on my back

The strokes I felt

But spent time guessing at shapes 

Put pressure on my shoulders,

and doubt of the power it took to create.

A thing unfair to us both,

and how I came to feel incapable of love after having loved, before.

Things That Can Be Kept

Things That Can Be Kept

You Cannot Will Your Heart Into Someone Else's Chest

You Cannot Will Your Heart Into Someone Else's Chest